the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
