god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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