are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
