you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
