If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
