I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
