it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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