actually, I'm a sock model
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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