belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
