Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
