a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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