haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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