Soap is not a condiment
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
