I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize