So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
