You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
