When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
