She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Houston, we have a squirter
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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