WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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