I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
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I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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