just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
