Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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