Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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