Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
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I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just pee around me
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
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The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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