Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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