carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
