I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
