i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
