You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
