Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
