so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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