Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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