What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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