I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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