My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
