I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
