i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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