Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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