The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
