i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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