they need to just BURY HIM!
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
