you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
There r osticjed everywhere
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
