when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
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He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
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we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
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