Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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