Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
