we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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