i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I want a musical about memes.
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