I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
