She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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