Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
