okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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