Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
