he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
