Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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