so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
