i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize