i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
