I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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