I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We are two peas in an std pod
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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