Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
