That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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