i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
